I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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