you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
