I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize