I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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