GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
