i think my tv is drunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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