Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
