I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you never un-have a 4some
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