i think my mom watched the whole time
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
