FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize