I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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