Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
