She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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