i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
