Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
