walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
