A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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