Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
