but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize