Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
