eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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