Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
