Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
