; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
