so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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