Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
