she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
