I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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