The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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