My nipple is on Facebook.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
