His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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