My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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