Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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