summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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