my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
