the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
