i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
