Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize