Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
