Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
