The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
