think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
