I hate all girls vehemently.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize