well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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