This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
