Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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