Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
