I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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