Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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