HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
