margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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