So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
