So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
