Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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