Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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