i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
