Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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