her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
