Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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