I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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