i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
