On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so let's talk penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
vagina is talking i cant
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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